The hubby says i should accept his foot fetish – if i dont i must not love him enough – this stressing me out so bad and makes me so angry. I start to hate him for it and stay away from him. I don’t want this in my life – am i wrong for feeling this way – should i accept him.
A. No one fully understands fetishes. Having a fetish means finding an object sexually arousing. This could include being aroused by the sight of a woman’s bra, panties, lingerie, or another part of the body such as the stomach, the neck, etc. A foot fetish is the most common type of fetish. It involves being sexually aroused by some aspect of the foot including the type of shoe, the smell, the look, or any other accessory involving the feet. It may be considered ‘taboo’ by the general public but research shows that it is in no way uncommon.
Men’s magazine editors understand that their audience is attracted to certain types of looks, including women’s shoes. The magazine editors understand that if they feature a woman wearing a particular type of shoe, it will be arousing to many of their readers. Knee-high leather boots or five-inch fire engine red heels are great examples of this. Women understand this as well which is why they wear particular types of shoes. High-heeled shoes are not only uncomfortable but they are physically damaging to the feet. Their goal is not comfort; many women are wearing the shoes to be more attractive to others.
To answer your question, I do believe your anger toward her husband is misdirected. A foot fetish should not be considered threatening, deviant or abnormal. It should not anger you. Your husband cannot control what arouses him. His foot fetish is no different than a man who finds a woman in lingerie to be arousing. Both should be considered “normal.” It is a matter of preference. For a heterosexual man, are there appropriate and inappropriate parts of the female anatomy to which to be attracted? Should the male attraction to breasts be considered abnormal, since the breasts have nothing to do with the process of impregnation? Is it alright for him to find your hands and nails to be attractive, your shoulders, the curve of your neck, your hair, etc.?
I hope this helps you to be less stressed. Talking to a therapist or sex therapist might help you to understand the fetish area more clearly. Take care.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 1 Nov 2010
Randle, K. (2010). Foot Fetish. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 25, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/11/01/foot-fetish/