I Kind of Hate My Life

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Hello, my name is Gabriel, i live in Romania, Europe and i’m 14 years old. First of all, i’m poor, pretty fat (some muscles but that’s all), and i think I’m ugly. I can’t fit in a group easy, i gave up my old classmates myself by not going to school, because they didn’t accept me, so i failed one grade, the new classmates won’t accept me either so i gained a little respect by becoming a bully, and i hate being like that. I came to an result that everyone around me hates me.

My mother left me and my dad when i was 10, now she has a 1 year old boy, and i’m living with my dad. I barely eat everyday, somedays my dad won’t even touch the food just to keep it for me.. and i feel deeply guilty for that.

I lost faith in god… i simply don’t belive in him, i was praying everyday before, but still he didn’t pay any attention to him, then i though he hates me, and i spent 2 weeks deeply depressed and full with guilt, then i just didn’t belive anymore…

I’m a total failure, and everyday i hope i will wake up dead, so i can escape these chains of life that keep struggle me… I’m very depressed right now as you see, i’m waiting for the electric company to cut the lights out because i didn’t pay the bills, as well with the internet connection.

A. Hello Gabriel. I’m sorry you’re experiencing so much difficulty. Please understand that while life is very difficult for you at this time it can get better.

You say that you are a total failure but how can this be so? You’re not to blame for every problem in your life. Children and adolescents need guidance from adults, which is something that is seemingly absent from your life. That is not your fault.

What you need most at this time is help from an adult. This could be from a mentor, a teacher, a member of the clergy, a school nurse, guidance counselor, or principal, etc. Please go to one of these individuals immediately and tell them about your situation. If you lived in the United States, I would also tell you to call child protective services. Child protective services could assist you with your living situation. I don’t know if there is a similar type of service in your country. If so, call them immediately.

I hope that you’re able to find the help that you need. If you are able to receive this message, please try to seek help immediately. Go to one of the individuals I mentioned above or go to your nearest hospital and report your situation.

I want you to realize that life can be amazingly difficult for people at some point in their lives. You are not alone. Never give up. Endure your adversity and attempt to do all that you can to solve your problems. The storm will end and you will be strengthened from all that you have experienced. Have faith in God. He has faith in you.

Life is a mystery and it is beyond us mere mortals to attempt to understand the ultimate reasons and purpose of being. Be strong. When you don’t understand why your prayers have not been answered, have more faith in the divine, not less. Perhaps they are being answered in ways you don’t yet understand.

Please take care.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Oct 2010

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2010). I Kind of Hate My Life. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/10/30/i-kind-of-hate-my-life/