I Can’t Control Myself
I am a Secondary school student and aged 16. Since past year, my everyday life was just like a nightmare. I always felt dizzy and headache, after I took panadol, I didn’t feel better at all. As well, I don’t want to eat the food that I love to eat before. I have no mood to eat.
Every night, I couldn’t sleep well. I have been suffering from insomnia for a long time and I usually woke up in very early morning. I have tried to take more and more sleeping pills, but that’s completely useless for me. I feel absolutely unbearable and tired because I need to go to school on the other day.
In school time, it’s hardly for me to concentrate. When I need to do some thinking work, e.g. math, I couldn’t think as fast as my classmates, I’m worried that I’ll fail in my academic study. My mood will always goes up and down, I feel that I’ve lose control on my emotions. I am going crazy, and I can’t stop it.
Sometimes, I really wanna escape from all my friends, and I’d hide myself into a wardrobe. Hiding inside there, I don’t have to talk to anyone as I have no energy to talk. Most of the days, I feel sad for no reasons and non-stop crying, but still for no reasons. Therefore sometimes, I’ll try to hurt myself with cutter. This action can really help my to clam down, but I’d become more depress for my guiltiness.
In this half year, I feel that the situation has become more serious and urgent, as I started to have the suicide attempts. This thought always appear in my mind, and I really afraid that I can’t control myself. I want to disappear from this world.
Thus, can you give me some suggestions in order to solve my problems? How can I stop the suicide attempts? Please help me, I really want to know what happen? Thanks.
A. It is very concerning that you are contemplating suicide and have made attempts to harm yourself. In addition, you feel as though you cannot control yourself. You need to speak to someone about these issues immediately. This is a crisis-level situation. Go to your parents, a trusted relative, a member of the congregation, or anyone else who you believe can help. The problem has escalated and you should not be dealing with it alone.
Sometimes it can be difficult to know what to say when asking for help. What is most important is to be honest. It would be difficult to effectively help you if you had not completely told the truth. You can try saying something to your parents such as: “I believe that I may have depression. I cry a lot, I can’t sleep or concentrate, my grades are slipping, my mood is unstable, I have lost my appetite, and I have thoughts of hurting myself. I don’t feel good. I’m not sure how to handle my problems. Sometimes I hurt myself because I don’t know how else to feel better. I believe that I need professional help. Can you please help me?”
If you are uncomfortable speaking to your parents then please alert somebody at the school. It is important that you do not keep this problem a secret any longer. Also, if you feel that you cannot control your behavior and may harm yourself then go to the hospital immediately or call emergency services. The hospital can help you and keep you safe. They can also help you access mental health treatment.
People with depression oftentimes have tunnel vision. They do not see reality clearly. They mistakenly feel as though their situation will never change or improve. In the case of someone who is suicidal, this type of thinking reinforces the idea that one should end their life. It is important to realize that depression causes irrational and illogical thinking. The truth is that things can get better with the proper help. The proof of this is that worldwide many people suffer with depression but once they receive help, they are able to recover from their condition.
It is important that you surround yourself with as many supportive people as possible. This would include friends and family. I understand that this will be a difficult task because you’re not feeling very sociable but it is imperative that you do not isolate yourself. The more you isolate yourself the more likely it is that you will continue to view your situation as hopeless. Even if you feel the desire to isolate, force yourself to be in the presence of others. It can protect you from continued self-harm.
Please speak to someone immediately about the issues outlined in your letter. You may be suffering from depression. There is help available. Please take care and do not hesitate to write back if you have any additional questions. I wish you well.
Randle, K. (2010). I Can’t Control Myself. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 18, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/10/04/i-cant-control-myself/