Completely unhappy for no reason

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

ok well I have a lot of friends and I know my parents love me but I find happiness in nothing. Except I’m not depressed. I don’t hate my life and I don’t want to die or anything like that. I always wanted a boyfriend but rarely had one. I don’t enjoy sex but I have slept with 23 guys and I don’t know why. Almost all of them were these past four months. Now I have a boyfriend and I’m not even excited about it and want to cheat. I hate that I’ve been a whore but for some reason I always sleep around. I always want to be messed up. Vodka, weed, and xanax are my three favorite things. I’m so nervous and uptight about everything. I always have a headache ad I’m always tired. Every time I get happy about something but that soon goes away and I just think all the good I’ve got now will end. I hate doing anything by myself. I’m scared to drive. When I’m alone I’m completely unhappy about everything. I’m constantly worried I’m missing out on something or I’m just in a horrible mood and don’t know why. That happens a lot. Even when I’m with people. I just get in such a bad mood and can’t explain why.

A: Sometimes sex is used to prevent intimacy and joy, not attain it. The lack of feeling and the variety of numbing activities — sex, drugs, alcohol — as well as the anxiety coupled with your apathy leads me to think you have an agitated depression. You say you are not depressed, but then describe the very symptoms. Not feeling interest or pleasure in activities is part of a depression. Please take this screening test.

My guess is that you will see from the score that it is likely to be a depression. If the score doesn’t indicate this then there may be something else going on that you’d want to explore in therapy. The find help tab above should help you find someone in your area.

You said much of your behavior changed radically within the past four months. This would be important to tell the therapist. Depressions are often reactions to incidents in our lives that leave us feeling helpless or without control in some area of our lives. Perhaps that will be a place for you to review and bring into therapy.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Sep 2010

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2010). Completely unhappy for no reason. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/09/28/completely-unhappy-for-no-reason/