me and my boyfriend have been together for a reallyy long time and my parents know ive been with him for a reallyy long time.. and my mom read me and my boyfriends conversation with each other on my phone and me and him were talking a little dirty nothing extreme! and now i over heard her taking to my sister saying me and my boyfriend need to seprate but she doesnt get im in love with him! hes my world and if she makes us seperate then ill never forgive her.. and yes i know im young but my mom was with someone when she was young too and the man she was with at like 15 or 16 became my dad when she was 22 and then they got married when she was 23 and divorced when she was 34 they were together for many’ many years and my boyfriend isnt like many guys hes caring and sweet and everything i ever wanted! how do i change my moms mind and make her think different of him? i wont break upp with him i know me and him have a future together!

A: Your mom is worried because she loves you. My guess is that she thinks her relationship didn’t last because it started too young and she’s trying to protect you from making the same mistakes she made. She knows that 12 years old is much too young to be talking dirty – even a little bit. Slow down. When people, especially young people, move a relationship along too fast, they are in danger of burning it out. If you two really care for each other and see a future together, focus on being good, good friends for the next few years. Find things you like to do together. Get out of the house and get active in a sport or a club or doing some volunteer work together. Develop a group of friends (boys and girls) to hang out with. You will get to know new dimensions of each other’s personality. If your mother sees you two treating each other well, doing well in school, and hanging out with lots of friends, she’s more likely to be supportive. Your first relationship could possibly turn into your only one but only if you nurture it carefully and do it in a way that your parents can approve of.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 4 Sep 2010

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2010). Mom and dad don’t want me with my boyfriend anymore. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 19, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/09/04/mom-and-dad-dont-want-me-with-my-boyfriend-anymore/

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