Friendless and Depressed

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

So I know that I’ve been depressed for about five years now. I thought I had overcame depression and was doing better, but lately I seem to be slipping back to how I use to act. I’m not wanting to talk to anyone, staying in my room mostly listening to music, barely eating, I stay up late at night and when I finally go to sleep I don’t wake up until at least thirteen hours later, getting emotional over every little thing. It’s draining and very, very stressful. I act like everything is fine but it gets tiring trying to pretend I’m okay.

Not only all that but I feel so alone. I have one person who I can call a friend. I use to have tons of people who I would call a friend but ever since I started to be home schooled to get some stress away I don’t talk to any of them. I don’t mind not talking to the but I feel like I’m alone all the time. The people where I live aren’t really the type of people I would want to hangout with. I’m trying to figure out who I am as a person so I think maybe that’s why making new friends is hard at this time in my life, but I’m not sure. I’m shy when I first meet someone and as we continue to talk I start to open up, but I just don’t know. I don’t know how to go about anything in life anymore, things are just so stressful.

A. I’m sorry you are feeling so stressed. It is difficult to feel alone and overwhelmed. I believe that you could benefit from support, either from friends, trusted family members or from a therapist.

In addition, try engaging in extracurricular activities such as softball, soccer, dance, swimming, and so forth. Another idea is to do volunteer work or find a job. These activities may help you to meet new people. These activities can help you to feel less lonely and more energized.

The other challenge, as you have described, is that you may be showing signs of depression. The depression might inhibit your ability to be social. The more that you can force yourself to interact with people, the better you may feel. It may help to decrease your depression which ultimately may make it easier to be more social. I understand this may be difficult, because of your possible depression, but it is still worth trying.

On the other hand, if you feel that this is too difficult because of your depression then you should consider seeking mental health treatment.

With regard to friends, I understand your difficulty. As you said, you are not fond of the people who live close by and because of homeschooling, you have a limited selection of friends. I am wondering if this is part of the problem. Homeschooling limits the number of possible friends simply because you are interacting with fewer individuals than you might if you were attending public school. Perhaps you can speak to your parents about the possibility of going to public school. I am not certain whether this is an option for you but it is something to consider.

It is important that your parents know how you are feeling. They may be able to help either by making suggestions or by taking you to see a mental health professional. If you are interested in seeking mental health treatment with the assistance of your parents, please click find the help tab at the top of this page. I wish you well. Please take care.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 Aug 2010

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2010). Friendless and Depressed. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/08/18/friendless-and-depressed/