Want To Stop Being Bitter

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I’m home for the summer and all the changes that have happened has pushed me to reflect on my past ( which hasnt been the best).

Though i am able to talk about it with crying an i havent been mad about it or even thought about it since most of it occured, i feel like i am constantly complaining about it. And as my caring boyfriend asks me “whats on your mind” i feel like im babbling about problem after problem after problem.

I want it to stop i want to never think about this again. But i also feel like saying that means im running away from it.

I can accept that it is the past and that it cant be changes an yes i know that i may not do somethings in memory of it but its not stoping me from living an i have been happy. But i have so much time an its only just begun.

So here is my rant some where far away from my fam and will not hurt my relationship. I want to know how to stop it, how to just …. BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME. (I dont wnat to be bitter).

A. It may be a challenge to be happy “all the time.” It would be more realistic to expect not to be bitter. It is difficult to control our mood 100 percent of the time. Mood can be affected by factors over which we have limited or no control. One example of a factor that we have no control over is hormones. Hormones are something that we cannot control. Moods are also affected by a lack of sleep as well as a number of other factors. Tired people may have difficulty managing their moods.

You alluded to your history, in your letter, but you did not identify the cause of your bitterness. If I understand your letter correctly, some occurrence from the past is bothering you. Your desire to speak about the troubling incident with your boyfriend is, in your opinion, a form of complaining. Generally speaking, if something is bothering you, it is best to talk about it. This is the basis for talk therapy — analyzing problems and examining one’s feelings. Therapy can be a very effective treatment, if done with a kind, compassionate and qualified therapist.

I’m afraid that I can only offer you general advice. If you would like to write back and provide additional information, I may be able to provide you with a specific answer. It would be helpful to know more about what is troubling you. It would also be helpful if you explained in more detail how this problem is affecting your relationship.

If this problem continues to bother you, consider seeing a therapist. You may only need to see a therapist for a short time. Here’s a link to a website where you can search for therapist. Please consider writing back with more information. Thanks for writing. I wish you well.

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 9 Jul 2010

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2010). Want To Stop Being Bitter. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/07/09/want-to-stop-being-bitter/