I’m just really lost. What am I supposed to do?

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I’ll try to explain this. Well, for the past year I’ve had really low self-esteem. I’ve been on and off starving myself (One meal/day) For the past couple days I’ve tried to purge after dinner but only a little came up. Last night I binged I ate one large bag of popcorn, 5 packages of fruit snacks, half a box of graham crackers, and an ice creams bar. I haven’t lost any weight; only gained weight I’m 4ft 10in 95lbs I feel so fat.

Also, I’ve been really low lately. I don’t really feel anything. I don’t feel happy or sad, I don’t feel like doing anything, I don’t really see a point in doing anything. I have had a little trouble sleeping I go to bed around 11:30-12:30 last night 1:30 and wake up around 6:30-7:00.

I’m 13yrs old. My parents divorced when I was younger mom moved away and both parents remarried. Now I have a lot of siblings. My mom doesn’t really talk to me (I only see her on holidays and summer) It makes me angry. One of my siblings picks on me a lot nothing serious just pushing my buttons. I’ve also been self injuring (cutting) my parents do know this. We are also moving and I’m really scared to go to a new school I have a lot of trouble making friends (I have social anxiety) My dad just tells me to get over it.

Could this be a start of an eating disorder? Could I have depression? Depression, anxiety, and bipolar runs in my family. Could this also be a control thing? Thank you so much for your time.

A: You are brave to ask the question, and your are obviously very intelligent and reflective as you know that the symptoms you are experiencing could very well be part of a depression, anxiety, or bipolar condition. I suppose the real question is how do we get you some help?

I would do two things: First, talk to your parents and ask that you get a therapist. You parents seemed to have lost sight of you in their own struggles, but asking them for help through a therapist would be important. Secondly, at 13 your school is a good place to go. Ask to talk to the guidance counselor or the school nurse and tell them of your concerns. They are certain to help you directly, or find someone who can. Be persistent.

As you get ready to transition into a new school this is the time to get the support you need. Your current school should be able to connect you with a counselor at the new school to assist with the move. This change can be an opportunity for you if we can get the right people in place.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Jun 2010

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2010). I’m just really lost. What am I supposed to do?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/06/24/im-just-really-lost-what-am-i-supposed-to-do/