I feel like I am worthless. Like my life is completely pointless. I cry atleast twice a week. Sometimes I wake up in tears. I feel like my friends can find someone so much better than me. I feel like my family expects so much out of me but I can’t give it to them. I stay up late at night, never do my homework. I hardly eat, even when Im hungry. I just..don’t want to get up and eat. Is it laziness? I really just don’t know. Im scared that I am depressed. I don’t want to be. I want to be happy, outgoing. Ive never been able to express my feelings to others. Ive always been shy. My mother recently took me to our pediatrician and the doctor came up with numerous things wrong with me, and depression was one of them. After all the bloodwork came back, everything was positive. I have a follow-up appointment coming up this week. Im afraid when I see the doctor she’s going to tell me I’m depressed. I feel like Im failing my family. My parents and grandparents and basically everyone always thought I was going to do great things. All my teachers always told me I was an amazing student. I recently got Honor Roll, but I don’t know how. I;m failing 2 classes and I have 2 D’s. I still haven’t told my parents. Im scared to disappoint them again. I feel like Ive been such a failure to them these past 2 years. I was always a good student. I had straight A’s. Now I feel like Im failing at life. Sometimes I just don’t feel like trying because I feel as if I already screwed up too badly that there’s no way to fix it. I miss the way things used to be when I was younger. I hate who I am now. My self-esteem is at the lowest it could ever be. Im constantly irritated. Im constantly upset and crying. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Please help me, Im scared.
A. I know it’s a frightening time for you but you have nothing to fear. You were evaluated by your pediatrician who determined that you may have depression. Now it seems that you are being referred for treatment. This shows that your parents really care about you and want you to feel better. Many teenagers unfortunately do not have supportive parents. Many would be envious. You’re actually in a very fortunate position.
Being referred to treatment means that you will have the opportunity to talk to a therapist who can help you to feel better. The therapist is there to help you. He or she is someone you can talk to and share the way you are feeling. You no longer have to try to figure out how to feel better on your own. The therapist can guide you in that process. You are on the road to recovery. I know you feel that it’s too late to “fix” you but that is not the case. Please do not be frightened and try to utilize the therapy that is being offered to you. There are millions of individuals who suffer from depression who are helped successfully with a therapist. You can be helped as well.
Be brave and go to your therapy appointment and believe in the process of being helped. With each therapy session you should feel a little better. Please consider writing back after a few sessions and letting me know how you are doing. I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 Mar 2010
Randle, K. (2010). Frightened About Depression Treatment. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 6, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/03/18/frightened-about-depression-treatment/