my relationship is going down the drain and it is all because of one issue.. ANGER.. it is ripping my life as i know it to shreds.. my partner and i have been together for only 7 months time nd within that seven months i developed into a monster.. ive become controlling jealous and very angry when she doesn’t give me a reason to..my fuse is very short and when it goes it goesss… my most recent event is what made me come here.. we got into an argument and i ended up putting my hand through our wall in our home.. doin this made me realize that the wall could have been her face.. what about next time? this is just one of many events.. when i blow up i dnt stop.. i leave from wherever i am.. i even get out of the car at a red light even if im driving.. i love the attention i like it when she runs after me.. and i dnt know why because i know its a horrible thing.. i through horrible tantrums.. i call her horrible names too horrible to discuss here.. i end up hating anything that crosses my path.. i almost threw my dog over the balcony all because she was in the way when i was mad.. i have suicidal thoughts.. and i want it to stop before i become a true danger to myself and others.. she tells me i might be bipolar but im afraid to find out i dont want to be considered a freak.. but this has to end.. i cry uncontrollably sometimes i can be upset for no apparant reason and won’t know why..i have alot of problems more then what i’m willing to admit..it took me for me to turn 22 to admit..I HAVE A PROBLEM.. I HAVE ANGERMANAGEMENT ISSUES.. so now im finally asking for help what do i do???

A: You’ve taken a very, very important first step. You’re admitting that something is wrong and that you are the person who has the problem. That’s huge! Give yourself credit for that.

What you do now is two things: Get yourself to a doctor for a complete physical checkup to make sure there isn’t a medical reason for your emotional ups and downs. Most likely, there isn’t a medical reason but it’s always good to check it out. You don’t want to be trying to talk yourself out of something that is physical in origin.

Then – if you check out medically — get yourself to a psychologist for an evaluation. Having difficulties with emotions doesn’t make you a freak! But not dealing with being unable to manage your emotions might make you into the “monster” you worry you are. Once you’ve been evaluated, your psychologist will work with you to develop a plan to deal with your specific problems. That may include some medicine and will certainly include some talk therapy to help you deal with rough spots in the road of life in other ways besides tantrums.

Please understand that you are not alone. The reason there is so much literature about anger management is that many, many people have problems dealing with intense feelings. The good news is that there is help for it. But you can only get the help if you go and ask for it. I really hope you do.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 Jan 2010

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2010). Anger management issues are destroying my relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/01/20/anger-management-issues-are-destroying-my-relationship/