I don’t know where to start

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

The last few weeks have been hell for me, I don’t have friends to talk things out with, My dad just don’t like to talk about my troubles. the past week I really need to talk to my therapist about this problem, I just don’t know how to bring it up in session. Some of my family members make fun of meI because I’m not close to any of the women in the family. I’m real close to all the men in the family.
this started after my mom died in 89 when i was 5 then i got close to my grandma see died, this lady from church she died, finally another lady from church she died. I was like not getting close to another person. I got started getting close to the men. I need help on this .

A: It makes absolute sense that you keep your distance from women. In your not-so-deep unconscious, you’ve come to believe that to get close is to set yourself up for loss. Of course, that’s only the truth. The only way we can protect ourselves from grief is to never love. As I’m sure you have found out, that’s too high a price to pay. I’m very glad you are seeing a therapist. I hope you can work through your unresolved grief and take the risks that come with love again.

One way to tell your therapist about your history is to simply bring your letter to your next session. I hope you do. I think it will probably take your therapy to a deeper and meaningful place.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 Dec 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). I don’t know where to start. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 17, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/12/19/i-dont-know-where-to-start/