I don’t know what to do anymore

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I’m 18 and I don’t know what to do about my life. Im 18 and im not very social. i like to go out place with friends if i ever get asked but i never get asked to go anywhere. i turn 19 very soon and still haven’t gotten my first job yet and i cant drive. i dont like being near place with alot of people around. i have tried to get my guard card to do secutiry but trying to find a place is kind of hard.
i dont really have much friends and it comes down to what i chose not to do and the way i feel. I have had friends but not close at all and when they came to do something that i felt that i didnt want to do i kind of lost my friends in my way. i played baseball for 13 years and hung out with friends but within the past 3 years my life has been goign to downhill.
i am overwieght(i admit it) and i try to lose weight but i am not fully commited to it and when it comes down to my family they dont care. my dad only cares about himself. only time he needs me is for computer stuff and technical stuff other than that nothing i dont know what to do anymore and i get no support
i have moved 4 times in 4 months but pretty much stayed around to go to same school. mostly moved with my dad to family members and friends but was kind of hard to help my dad with everything and i feel i dont get enough credit for trying to help. i get put down by my dad about school it made me mad and eventually i dropped beginning my senior year and it took me 9 months just to get my stuff i needed to take my GED test to get me along.
i got my GED first try but now finding a job is hard
but what makes it hard is finding a job that doesnt requie being around alot of people like target and walmart. since this is my first job i am kind of stuck what to pick from but what can i do

A: It sounds like things have been pretty hard for awhile. Although I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of a letter, the symptoms you listed are consistent with “social phobia.” Why don’t you look that up and see if it fits? If so, a counselor can help you learn the skills you need to be more comfortable with other people.

In the meantime, there are other jobs besides the big box stores for you to work in. You want to explore jobs where your contact with the public is minimal. Since I don’t know what your interests are, I can only make some very general suggestions. Things that come to mind are manufacturing jobs, trucking, and office work. Since you have computer skills, you might be able to find a job using computers at a company or office. Did you know that there are at least 40 temp agencies and employment services in and around your city? Get on your computer and find one that can help you find a job that fits you.

But your most difficult challenge may be taking charge of yourself. Your dad may not be the best dad in the world but he is not entirely to blame for how you are feeling. It’s terrible that he puts you down. I certainly wish he didn’t. But it’s also terrible that you accept the putdowns. Just because someone invites you to feel bad doesn’t mean you have to oblige. At almost 19, it’s time for you to define yourself for yourself. After all, you did manage to get your GED.That took some effort. You stuck with baseball for 13 years which tells me that you can stick with something and that you are loyal. Please give yourself some credit! You do have some things going for you. If you find you can’t build up your self-esteem by yourself, a counselor can also help you with that.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 Dec 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). I don’t know what to do anymore. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/12/18/i-dont-know-what-to-do-anymore/

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