boyfriend wants a threesome

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Hi i m a 21 year old girl and i m madly in love with a guy. and i know he is in love with me tooo… but the problem is k since last year he has been talking to me about trying a 3 some. i try to avoid the topic but he keeps bringing it up all the tym! i want him to stop doing this. what should i do? i cant even think about someone else.how should i explain this to him?

A: Part of making a committed relationship is working out a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. Your boyfriend keeps bringing up the idea of a threesome either because you aren’t being clear enough or he thinks he can change your mind. You may be clear in your own mind but, by avoiding the conversation, you may have given him reason to think that you are considering it.

You need to decide if his desire for a threesome is a deal-breaker. If so, you owe it to him to be as crystal clear as you can be that a threesome is simply not going to happen. If, on the other hand, you’d rather learn to be comfortable with sharing him rather than lose him, then face that and talk with him about it. Either way, open conversation is the key. He can’t read your mind. You can’t avoid the issue forever.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Dec 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). boyfriend wants a threesome. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/12/08/boyfriend-wants-a-threesome/

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