Confused and Need Someone To Talk To

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I’m so confused about everything going on in my life. I have no friends, lonely and I’m not sure whats going on anymore. Everyone just tells me to get over it. It just seems everyone in my life is telling me that I’m paranoid.

My parents have always told me never think of your self, because your a christian and that you have it so much better than everyone else in the world. I could never talk with my dad, inside I still remember when he used to beat me, when I was 5. I didn’t even do anything wrong and when my dad came home from work, he used to get infuriated over the smallest things and he used to beat my sister and me.

My dad had so much problems with his dad. My grandfather used to beat his kids for absolute reason. My dad hated his dad for beating my grandmother and he made her blind. I hate my grandfather so much.

Even though my dad had such a painful childhood of working from such a young age, child abuse, there’s this anger that runs in my family. I hate everyone in my family and when I see them, I can’t take it anymore, they always depressed about something. My sister hurts me just as painful as my dad, she said if I wasn’t born, here life would be better. On a regular basis, we would fight and when we get into a fight, she would throw things until i get seriously injured.

She blames me that it wasn’t for me, there would be no problems. When I was 5, my sister left me at the park and I think i know the reason why.

My mom is suffering the most in our family. I feel so bad for her, I can’t tell her anything about how I feel sometimes because I know in my mom’s side, cancer runs pretty badly. I don’t know what to do, one time, I told my mom about one of my problems, she cried herself to sleep.

At church, I grown so distant from everyone, I just hated everyone at the time and its so hard to go back to a church I’ve been going to church for 11 years. I have no friends, and at school and I always smile so that no one sees whats really going on in my life. About 2 years ago, i was shy but now it got to the point, when I look at someone for the long, I look away and just away. I can’t hold a conversation with anyone. I’m distant away from GOD.

What should I do?

A. I am sorry you are experiencing so much distress. Unfortunately, your family may not be able to focus on your issues because they may have too many of their own. That may be why they dismiss you and your concerns. Also, if they are unable to solve their own issues, then they may feel helpless to deal with yours. Having no help or support from your family makes the prospect of tackling your issues doubly difficult. I can understand why you’re overwhelmed.

I have two suggestions for you. One is that you speak to a guidance counselor at school. There are many teenagers in similar situations and they feel that no one at home can help them. Utilize the guidance counseling service at your school, if it is available to you. My second suggestion is to seek guidance from a clergy person. You said that you are Christian. Perhaps there is someone at the church who can assist you with not only the family issues, but also with the fact that you feel distant from God. I would advise you to consider both, speaking to the guidance counselor and a clergyperson.

Not having support from your family can be a barrier to treatment, especially for teenagers. I would encourage you to keep trying to find help from a teacher, a therapist, guidance counselor, mentor, or any other respectable adult whom you like or trust. Don’t stop trying until you find someone who can offer you help. You should also consider joining a school program or extracurricular activity, or any other social gathering or support group. I suggest this because you could benefit from a support system. I believe that if you had friends or a circle of support then you would feel less overwhelmed. It could act as a “buffer” for the stress you feel at home. Ideally, individual or family therapy would be the best type of treatment for you, but if you are unable to access that, a supportive friend or social group could help you considerably.

Thank you for your question and I wish you the best of luck.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 Nov 2009

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2009). Confused and Need Someone To Talk To. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/11/18/confused-and-need-someone-to-talk-to/