My boyfriend is ignoring me

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Okay so i haven’t talked to my boyfriend since Tuesday after we spent the night together. i have him on my yahoo messenger and yesterday when i got on he got off as soon as i got on.. i don’t understand this i have not done anything to him. we had a really good time when we were together we always do at least i thought so.well i seen him on Myspace but he wasn’t on yahoo and its not like him hes always on talking to me i`m soo worried that hes using me and everything is a lie, i know its probably because i have been used so much that i think hes gonna be the same way.. so my question is should i try to talk to him or just leave him alone? i don’t know what to do please help

A: It’s a big jump to thinking your boyfriend is using you and lying because he isn’t in his usual steady contact. His withdrawal may not even be about you. Maybe he’s upset about something or involved in something that is taking his attention this week. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Gently ask him if he needs a little space or if he’s having a hard time. Offer your help and support if he needs it. Then see what happens. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt in other relationships. I realize that makes it hard to be patient. But making assumptions instead of checking things out almost always backfires. I hope that approaching your boyfriend with concern instead of accusations makes a difference.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Oct 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). My boyfriend is ignoring me. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 27, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/10/21/my-boyfriend-is-ignoring-me/