I’m 15 years old. I have always been one of those people who bottles things in. Recently I have been showing behaviour unlike my usual one and that is excessive anger that I cannot seem to control. I believe it is from family problems and problems with a friend that I’ve been having for a while but no matter what I try to do I can’t seem to control it. The other day I didn’t get what I want and I threw my phone at the wall and broke it, and even by doing that, no anger was released. Similar things have been happening lately and I’m beginning to scare myself.
A. As you noted, the problem may be that you don’t properly express your feelings. Perhaps you lack an outlet to do this. Experts generally say this is unhealthy.
Those who study emotions suggest making an effort to share your feelings. Talk to someone about your feelings, especially when you’re emotionally upset. If you do this more often then you may not experience a “build up” of emotions.
I’m wondering if you don’t express your feelings because you don’t know how to. Many people were not taught these skills. Maybe there’s no one in your family or among your friends who you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with. They are both possibilities.
If there are friends or members of your family that you trust then don’t hesitate to speak to them about how you’re feeling. If something’s bothering you talk about it. There is no reason to hold it in.
You may want to read about how to express or label your emotions. Two books that may be helpful are Fighting Invisible Tigers: A Stress Management Guide for Teens by Earl Hipp and Dealing with the Stuff That Makes Life Tough : The 10 Things That Stress Teen Girls Out and How to Cope with Them by Jill Zimmerman Rutledge.
Thanks for writing.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 9 Sep 2009
Randle, K. (2009). Unexplained Behavior. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 25, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/09/09/unexplained-behavior/