Jealous of Friends

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I have been really depressed lately. It involves friends and being jealous of them. Lately I have been really depressed. Actually not lately. Its been like this for a while. My friends are always hurting me. Everytime im with a friend(s) im always the black sheep. Everytime we hang out im always left out. Whenever i say something everyone doesnt give a sign or caring. Im always ignored. When Jr High ended i thought that all my pain will be gone. My friends that i have known for years also become like that. Everytime there is an event , i am never invited. My friends know that im depressed alot and they hate that. I have no one to run to about problems and when i go to them they tell me to go away and tell me things that hurt me.Now we can barely even talk. I try tried to start conversations with all my friends but it always results in my getting insulted.

Lately my friend has been getting alot of free stuff. I get really jealous about it because we are the same age and we are likes rivals. This isnt really anything but it just adds to the pain. How unfair everything is… If possible can you please tell me what to do? How to deal with life as it is?

P.S dear therapist , if you dont want to answer my question/problem its fine. I just had no where else to run to.

A. It’s very courageous of you to ask for help. In your letter you intelligently expressed how you’ve been feeling. It must be upsetting to experience these emotions and not know how to handle them. As you said you don’t have anyone you can speak to about these issues. This is a large part of the problem. It would be helpful if you had a supportive friend or an adult you could go to when you’re having a difficult time.

I would advise you to speak to your parents about how you feel. Maybe they’re not ideally who you would want to speak to about your problems but they may be able to give you helpful advice. At the very least, they may be able to make an appointment for you to see a counselor.

If you decide to speak to your parents, use this letter as a blueprint for what to say. Tell them about the problems you’re having with your friends. They may surprise you and have very good advice. Remember, they were once teenagers. They may be able to relate to your experiences. If you’re not comfortable going to your parents with your specific concerns then ask if they’d be willing to make an appointment for you to see a counselor. You might also want to consider speaking to the school guidance counselor. He or she may be able to help with your problem.

In essence, my advice is to ask for help from others. Asking for support is nothing to be ashamed of. As I mentioned before, you’re dealing with serious issues in isolation and it shouldn’t continue. Requesting the help of others is the best way to handle this situation. I hope I’ve answered your questions. Please take care.

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 Sep 2009

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2009). Jealous of Friends. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/09/02/jealous-of-friends/