Girlfriend and I going to separate colleges

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about five months now, and I really think that I’m in love with her. However, about three months back I received an acceptance letter from a very prestigious private college saying that I have received a substantial amount of Financial Aid and would not have to pay as much as I once thought I would have to.

The problem is, that the school is six hours away from home where my girlfriend is staying and going to school there. When I first told her, she was mortified and very angry, however we were able to talk things through to a degree. Whenever we bring it up in conversation we both end up extremely depressed, she tells me that she is proud of me often and thinks that I made the right decision, but that just makes me think that she is putting on a strong face for me and is actually very hurt and angry.

The last thing that I want to do is lose her, and I know that we can make it through this. I just really hope that she knows it as well and doesn’t leave me whenever it gets rough. I know that I am going to stay faithful and she has told me that she will too, I just wish that there was a way to make this transition a little it easier for the both of us.

Most people will think that I’m just a stupid kid and that our relationship will never last, but I want to prove them wrong, to be the exception if you will. Others will think I am simply prolonging the inevitable breakup, but that is the last thing I want to happen. I leave in about two weeks, and we are spending as much time as we can together before I leave, I just wish there was a way to make this easier.

A: Congratulations on the college acceptance and financial aid. I’m sorry that the situation with your girlfriend makes it hard for you to celebrate that achievement.

This is your time. Each of you should get involved with your studies, make new friends, and join at least one organization in the next month. By all means, keep in touch and celebrate each other’s growth and successes. But also support each other in taking full advantage of what college has to offer. Love should enhance your lives, not limit them.

You’ll be home for Thanksgiving. If you can’t wait to see each other for that long, there’s a three-day weekend in October. (A six-hour distance is hard but it’s not the other side of the universe or even the other side of the country.) I hope you can support each other in going off to fully take part in the college experience. If you are right for each other, being separated for a couple of months shouldn’t make a difference.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 Aug 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). Girlfriend and I going to separate colleges. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 16, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/08/19/girlfriend-and-i-going-to-separate-colleges/