Well, i’m 16. I have just came out of a horrible, horrible breakup, and I can’t surpass the enormous amount of pain… I still love her, and I can’t forget her. She says she has already forgotten me ( we broke up 3 weeks ago).

In my opinion, if she has already forgoten me passed only 3 weeks, she never truly loved me. But i can’t cope with this pain… I really want to end my life, but I know I won’t do it ( in part, because I don’t have enough corage).

Still, if I continue in this situation, I won’t last very long… I want to get back with her, but that’s impossible… I don’t know what to do… Two things scare me a lot: the fact that I won’t ever get back with her, and the fact that i’m really scared I won’t find anyone else… All the girls like me, but only has a friend ( they think I’m cute and an excellent person, but still only see me has a friend).

So, i need help… I need some advice… I’m hurting so badly… She was my first girlfriend…

A: Hello and thank you for your question:

Gosh, I’m terribly sorry that she hurt you so badly. That really stinks. You know, sometimes the best way of dealing with grief is to start keeping a journal, or write a letter. If you write a letter, pour your heart out and then put the letter away or burn it and let the ashes drift down a stream or into the ocean. Don’t write it with the intention of mailing it to her. She doesn’t need to read it, but you need to write it.

I will tell you the truth: Most guys feel the way that you do when something as awful as this happens. So do girls when they are the ones who get left behind. We all hurt this way when someone leaves us. What you are feeling is normal and you will work through it.

People may be telling you to “get over it” or find someone new. You don’t “get over” your first love, but you do work through it, and recover to find someone who is probably going to be better, believe it or not. Learning experiences are sometimes painful and this is one of the hardest things to learn.

Not everyone will treat us fairly, but there really are girls who will love you and who will truly deserve the love you give to them. Give yourself time. You will heal.

I hope this helps,

Dr. Diana Walcutt

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Aug 2009

APA Reference
Walcutt, D. (2009). I Can’t Stop Suffering After Breaking Up With My Girlfriend. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/08/12/i-cant-stop-suffering-after-breaking-up-with-my-girlfriend/