My wife and I have been married for a little over 5 months. Recently I lied to her about a situation that I have lied to her about in the past before marriage. This is not a situation where I was un faithful. My wife was so crushed that she took my children and moved out of state. She has been gone for more than 3 weeks now and I am absolutley devistated by this situation. Ever since she left she had been asking me for space and time. It is just really hard to give that to her because I love her so much. Throughout the weeks gone we have not really had any major arguments but she says she is not ready to hear me say I am sorry. Now she wont even speak to me. She calls when the kids want to talk to me and coaches them to say I love you and I miss you but she says to me that she does not want to talk. What do I do. I am freaking out.
A: It sounds like a big reaction on your wife’s part. It makes me wonder if the lie was some sort of “last straw.” Are you being totally honest with yourself and with her about the situation?
I’m concerned that if you don’t get yourself to a counselor’s office, you’ll find yourself at a lawyer’s. I therefore think the most positive thing you can do is to make an appointment right now with a marriage counselor and start going. Actions speak louder than words. Perhaps if your wife sees you taking a major step toward rectifying the situation, she will join you in doing the work you two need to do for your marriage to survive.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
You may also like:
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Aug 2009
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). Is she overreacting?. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 14, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/08/08/3377/
