Detoxing Husband

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

My husband is almost 60 days sober from opiate addiction. It was a roller coaster ride I would not wish on anyone. While he was detoxing, he needed some psychiatric help so I made him an appt with my psychiatrist. In the beginning, my husband wanted me to be a part of this therapy but the doc (who has been my doc since January) supposedly said it would be bettern if he went alone. While with my husband at those first few appts, I saw a considerable change in the doc, one that made me completely uncomfortable…he also made all my husbands appts for after hours and would spend 2+ hours with him! His main focus was sex…he also told my husband that if he cheated on me nwith 12 different girls, it would be kept quiet. His behavior with me is completely different…professional! The last few times my husband went to his appts, I asked what he spoke about and how he felt. He claimed the doctor spoke about himself the entire time. I had my appt today with the same doc, apparently, my husband was lying to me. I understand if he wants certain things confidential but he is lying to me and to the doc. We are being told 2 different stories. n When I try to address it with my husband, he gets mad and dismisses me. I feel as though with the doc he is blaming his addiction on me. I need some help on how to deal with this…I am filled with anxiety and sadness now…

A. The best way to handle this situation is to have an honest discussion with all three parties present. Meet as many times as necessary until there has been a satisfactory resolution and you learn the truth. Should everybody agree to meet you should express the concerns you wrote about in this letter.

Try not to be anxious. I know you’re worried because you’re hearing conflicting stories from both your husband and the psychologist. There is a good likelihood that this situation isn’t as bad as you perceive it to be. It’s likely a misunderstanding. At the very least there is a lack of clear communication. An honest, open discussion can correct this and put your fears to rest.

If you suggest a meeting and all parties are not agreeable then it may be helpful if you seek the assistance of a different mental health professional. A change of a therapist or doctor at this point may be precisely what is needed.

I wish you luck.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 31 Jul 2009

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2009). Detoxing Husband. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/07/31/detoxing-husband/

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