should i break up with him?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

How do i brake up with my suicidal boyfriend? i want to but he said if i do he’ll ‘mutilate or kill himself’ i really dont know what to do and i dont want to be the result of his death :(

A: This must be very scary. The most helpful thing you can do is let the adults take over. When someone threatens suicide, it is crucial to let other people know. Please tell your boyfriend’s parents, your school counselor, and any other influential adult who knows him that he is talking about hurting or killing himself. Then gently tell him that you can’t feel responsible for his life so you are moving on. You will have done what you can.

If you break up with him and he does hurt himself, it is not your fault. This kind of behavior is not about love. It is manipulation and emotional blackmail. He needs more help than you can give him.

If you need support, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Counselors are available 24/7.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 Jul 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). should i break up with him?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/07/27/should-i-brake-up-with-him/