These last few weeks I’ve been feeling really depressed. I’m not entirely sure, but I believe it’s because I don’t have a girlfriend. I’ve never really had any (close) friends. I’ve never really had anyone that I could talk to about what’s on my mind. I’m lonely. None of the few friends I do have live anywhere me. All I need is someone I can talk to. Because I’m 15 and never had a girlfriend, I’ve been feeling very lonely and depressed. Is there anything I can do to overcome these feelings and possibly get a girlfriend at the same time?
A: Hello and thanks for your question:
I’m sorry that you are feeling so bad. You are going through one of the hardest stages of life, adolescence. Believe me, there are few times in a person’s life when things are this confusing, that you feel this lonely and that no one understands you. This can be an awful time. But it will pass.
The good news is that it is only a stage, and that you will move beyond it. Guys often don’t have a lot of close friends—that’s the nature of guys sometimes. That doesn’t mean that you won’t. And, just because you haven’t had a girlfriend, doesn’t mean that it won’t happen, either.
I really don’t want to say it, but you have many years ahead of you when you can form meaningful relationships with both guys and girls. Honest.
It’s true that most adults can’t understand what you are going though. It seems as though adults forget that we went through something very similar to what you are going through now. Perhaps it’s because it was so very painful. Again, this stage will pass.
You might ask your parents to take you to a therapist. A good one can really help you through this stuff. Check out therapists in your area by Googling “therapist” and your city.
I hope this helps,
Dr. Diana Walcutt
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 Jul 2009
Walcutt, D. (2009). Loneliness & Depression. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 2, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/07/02/loneliness-depression/