Can’t Stop Obsessing or Daydreaming

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Well, for the longest I have been experiencing these crazy obsessions with male celebrities. Not to the extreme of stalking or anything of the sort. I usually have a long period when I am completely addicted to looking at photos,videos, or interviews of the particular guy at that time. I learn all I possibly can about them. For some strange reason whenever I get time alone I just blow off hours and hours of daydreaming about that celebrity. I will literally listen to my music and dance myself away in this imaginary world that I have created. For the past couple of days, I have been getting to the point where I don’t feel the crazy pain in my legs anymore from dancing in my fantasy world. The issue is that I can’t stop no matter how hard I try to get over my obsessions with the celebrity I am obsessed with this year. It makes me extremely depressed because I know I can be a very successful person if I would do something productive with that time. The last couple years I have had an extremely crazy schedule which made me feel excellent because I didn’t really have time to waste. However, whenever I had down time I would procrastinate to the very second just to have my 30 minutes or hours of daydreaming. Even when I am out with my friends something like a song or whatever will just trigger my daydreams. I guess I daydream about being famous,successful,and having that guy. The dreams consume my life and my mind. I want to be free but I can’t. I feel trapped, depressed, and lonely. I have never been in a relationship and I don’t want to be in one. I want to focus on working towards being successful in my career. Nonetheless, it seems like another part of my wants to be in a relationship. I don’t want to be in love yet I crave love in more than a mother/father way. I am an attractive person so finding a boyfriend is not an issue. I just don’t want one.I have no issues with neglect, I have been quite spoiled by my family because I “have a good head on my shoulders”. I can be a very focused person (at least on what my mind and desires allow me) but I need my crazy daydreams and thoughts to go away. I need them to go away because the depression gets to me sometimes. It is like having a big wall that I can’t climb over right in front of achieving my goals. Most of the time around my friends and family I am an extremely happy person but just one thing will trigger something and I will be this dark and gloomy person sometimes suicidal. I began to write poetry like Edgar Allan Poe. However, I am only dark when I am by myself, I can control that at least. The daydreams and obsessions are taking a toll on me.

Please help me figure out what is wrong with me, if you can. Thanks for you time!

A. You realize you have a problem. I always find it encouraging when someone can admit they have a problem and can recognize the need for help. Now that you’re aware of the problem you have an obligation as a responsible adult to find a way to correct it. If you don’t know how to solve it on your own, that’s okay, but make it a priority that you find someone who can help you.

You have obsessions with male celebrities and you constantly daydream. You describe yourself as being “addicted” to looking at photos, videos, or reading interviews about a particular celebrity. You allow yourself to be swept away into an imaginary world. You’re living much of your life in a fantasy world. It’s gotten to the point where it has affected your ability to have relationships. There’s a good likelihood that it has negatively impacted most if not all aspects of your life, not just relationships.

I may not be able to offer you a specific diagnosis but it’s enough to know that the obsessions and the amount of time you spend engaging in fantasies are unhealthy. You sense this because you’ve described feeling depressed about it. You recognize that it’s taking a “toll” on your life.

Perhaps you engage in this type of thinking because it’s easier than focusing on the reality of your life. Just like alcohol and drugs are an escape for some people from their unpleasant lives, fantasy may serve the same purpose for you. It may be a way for you to avoid responsibility. It may have been that as a child you were encouraged to engage in fantasies or imaginative thinking but nobody put limits or boundaries on this type of thinking. It’s okay to engage in some type of fantasy thinking but certainly not to the point where it becomes an obsession or inhibits your ability to function normally.

A therapist can help you learn how to put limits on your thinking. He or she could teach you a new way to think and behave as well as ways to distract yourself away from the fantasy world. You could also learn how not to procrastinate and how to eliminate the triggers that invoke your desire to daydream.

Medication might be an option as well. There may be a particular medication that can block your unwanted thoughts.

Cognitive behavioral therapy would likely be the most effective type of treatment. This problem is very solvable if you’re willing to consider therapy. Good luck.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Jun 2009

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2009). Can’t Stop Obsessing or Daydreaming. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/06/15/cant-stop-obsessing-or-daydreaming/