20 years old and feeling like she’s 40

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker


My husband and i have known each other for four years and have a son together. After about three months of dating him, i lost interest in having sex. Now, i NEVER am in the mood! He wants to have sex like every day and he basically begs me to do it. It just doesnt feel as good as it used to or as it should. I am taking birth control and an anti-depressant called celexa and dont know if that would be part of the problem. I just need some advise on what i should do to get my sex life back because im only 20 years old and i feel like im 40! I want to keep my husband happy because i love him so much and hate seeing him upset and confused on why i dont like having sex. One other thing is i have never had an orgasm before and would love to have one one day but i am not sure how to have one. Thank you so much for you time.

A: You are absolutely right! Both you and your husband deserve to have an intimate and satisfying sex life. Please. If you haven’t already, talk with a psychiatrist and your pharmacist about your lack of libido. Changes in sexual desire or ability are one of the possible side effects of Celexa. You may need a change of dosage or a change of drug. Fortunately, there are many other choices if you still need an antidepressant.

As for your difficulty having an orgasm: I did a little searching on the web and suggest you do the same. I found a number of excellent articles about what you and your husband can do to help you relax and climax.

Don’t miss out on being 20 because you let yourself get too busy to take care of yourself. Make an appointment with your doctor and spend a little time with your computer. In a few weeks you could be feeling more like having sex and responding much more as well.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Jun 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). 20 years old and feeling like she’s 40. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/06/08/20-years-old-and-feeling-like-shes-40/