Need Help But Can’t Get it On My Own
I need help…I don’t know what’s wrong. I need help. I haven’t told anyone about this because nobody in my family will beleive me but there is something wrong with me. As a child I was abused by my dad, but not bad. he rarely got physical…anyway after this my mom started dating a guy who sexually abuses me and since then I have experienced sexual guilt and because of this I am standoffish to have any kind of relationship. Also I dealt with depression for awhile and didn’t tell anyone so I hurt myself physically. Well recently not only has my depression come back but it is MUCH worse. Also I think everyone has these thoughts but I keep feeling like people are listening to me think and laughing at what I’m thinking. I’m sure that’s probably normal but also I had a voice in my head, possibly my subconcious, telling me not to go out one day so I stayed home and apparently there was a car wreck where I would have been riding in the car. Maybe it’s normal but it freaked me out. I dunno if this has to do with psychosis at all but I often lock up. Like my muscles won’t move and I start crying because I’m so freaked. Anyway my mom doesn’t really beleive in “psychobabble” so I can’t talk to anyone. Please help me. I’m only 15 so I can’t really go get help on my own.
A. I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. The concern is that you’re alone, without appropriate help trying to deal with serious issues. You have a range of symptoms that include depression, believing that people are listening to you think and then laughing at you. You are also experiencing muscle stiffness. In addition, you wrote about being abused by your father and then sexually abused by your mother’s boyfriend. These are all very serious issues that may need to be addressed with the help of a mental health professional.
If your mother’s significant other is still abusing you then he should be reported to the police immediately because it is illegal. Even if it happened some time ago it’s not too late to report him to the police. When the abuse occurred isn’t relevant. What is important is that it was wrong and against the law.
I am not quite sure what you mean by your mother not believing in “psychobabble.” I take it to mean that if you asked to go to treatment she would tell you “no” because she has a negative opinion of therapy. That’s unfortunate if that is true. This may be your assumption. It may not be true and I would encourage you to ask her. You may believe that’s what she would say but if she heard about your symptoms she may be willing to help you into treatment.
Is there another adult that you can go to for help? Is there a friend’s mother or father who may be able to help? What about a member of the church? Is your father still in your life? Perhaps your father would be more open to the idea of treatment than your mother. You could also consider a mentor or a leader at a Boys and Girls Club, YMCA or another local community group. You could also ask for help from your pediatrician or primary care doctor. These are the avenues that you may have to resort to if your mother refuses to help.
Decide which adult in your life may be able to best help you. I would not recommend that you ignore your symptoms. They are not something that should be ignored and they need treatment. Please consider writing back and letting me know how you’re doing.
Randle, K. (2009). Need Help But Can’t Get it On My Own. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 30, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/06/01/need-help-but-cant-get-it-on-my-own/