She can’t get happy

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

i am 29 and have a wonderful husband and children. I dont have to work outside the home and this is what i always wanted. however, i feel so irritated and mad all the time, and this is nothing new, i have felt like this this for years. no matter what happens i seem to be feeling like im running out of time and like i cant get anything accomplished. i just want to be happy again, i dont want my kids to grow up and remember me as being the bitchy mom. what are the possible reasons for feeling this way? what should i do? i hate being so mad all the time and every little thing makes me go into a tantrum.

A: You didn’t give me much to go on but let me try a couple of guesses:

It’s not at all unusual for a mom to feel like it’s hard to accomplish anything each day. The demands of young children often derail our own plans. It may be that you are expecting too much of yourself and then getting frustrated that you can’t meet your own standards. If that’s the case, I think a few heart-to-heart talks with other moms might be helpful so you don’t feel so alone and so you can get some support.

On the other hand, you may be depressed. Many people don’t know that irritability and being easily angered is a symptom of depression. Another symptom is early morning waking and difficulty getting back to sleep. If that’s also going on, you are sleep-deprived which adds to irritability.

You are right to be concerned about how your children are reacting to you. These are important years. You want to be able to enjoy each other and build happy memories with your family. I therefore encourage you to do two things: Make an appointment with your doctor for a complete checkup. There are a number of medical causes for depression and you want to be sure there’s nothing physically wrong. If you are medically fine, then contact a psychotherapist for an evaluation and for suggestions for how to make some changes.

Life is all too short. Take care of yourself so you can enjoy it.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 Apr 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). She can’t get happy. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/04/27/she-cant-get-happy/