Q: I’m obsessed with a gal at work. she wouldnt give me her number said she didnt want a man. she is newly divorced and has 2 kids. From an abusive marriage. We talk some but is not the same since i asked. She is aloof til we are around people. I cant quit thinking about her. In feel like she needs to be in my life or its not complete. I would like to stay away but afraid she will find someone else. My freinds say she woulda given me her number anyway if she liked me. To forget her. What should i do?
A: Unfortunately, your friends are right. This lady has told you more than once that she is not interested. If she’s newly divorced, she’s still in pain, and you certainly don’t want to make things worse by harassing her, do you? You know that old saying, “If you love something, let it go. If it’s yours it will come back to you. If it doesn’t come back, it never was yours.”
If you back off, and stay off (for more than a few hours or days) she may be able to appreciate you. Otherwise, she may be seeing you as threatening, and report you. I am positive you don’t want that to happen. Please, be careful. But back off.
Dr. Diana Walcutt
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Apr 2009
Walcutt, D. (2009). Obsessed. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/04/21/obsessed/