I am interested in little children. I realise the illegality of this issue, and will not in any way do anything with a child, however, I get very turned on when looking at pictures of little girls (aged 3 – 8). My wife does not mind this (and she even supplies me with pictures) and she understands I will never do anything to a child. What I am worried about is, not what I may do in the future (as I won’t do anything), but more of what will happen to me if people find out about my particular sexual orientation.
I maybe a pedophile, as the technical term would be, but I am not a child molester, and never will be.
What am I to think?
A. It’s abnormal to be aroused by children. If I were able to meet with you in person I’d have many questions for you. I would be attempting to ascertain how you became attracted to children. Some of the questions I’d want to know would include: Were you sexually abused? There does seem to be a connection between sexual abuse and pedophilia.
If I met with you in person I’d also want to know the following: How often do you view photos of young children? Have you done this your entire life? When did it start? Has your desire to view these pictures increased over time? If the desire has increased did your viewing of the pictures increase? These questions are relevant because it would help me to establish whether your desire has increased in strength. You believe that your desire to look at pictures will not escalate to the point where you might actually attempt to live out your fantasy but sexual desire is very strong. The libido is very powerful and if left unchecked there could be a time when you actually attempt to have sex with a child. It’s important to assess whether you may be a danger to others.
Do you work in a profession where children are present? Do you have children? If not, are you planning to have children? These questions are important because if there are children present in your life it’s possible that they’d be at risk for sexual abuse. Individuals who are attracted to children often place themselves in situations where they are close to them. This is unfortunately how many children are victimized.
Is your attraction to young girls incorporated into your marital sex life? If so in what way has this fantasy been incorporated? It would have been interesting to know more about what your fantasies are related to children, how often they occur, and so forth. You did not detail this in your letter.
As I mentioned before the attraction to young children is unnatural and abnormal. “Normal” fantasies among most men include being attracted to females who are older and who have the ability to reproduce. Fundamentally sex is about reproduction. When a man is attracted to a female who is unable to reproduce it’s a sign of a potentially serious problem.
I would suggest that you see a sex therapist regarding this issue. Because you are experiencing an abnormal problem you should seek to correct it. If you had an abnormal pain in your back I’d advise you to see a back specialist. You should not tolerate this abnormality towards young children.
As I mentioned above, the libido is very strong. You say that you have this attraction to young girls control under control but that may not be the case. A therapist could help you assess how “controlled” your desire is and to help you reduce or possibly eliminate it.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 Mar 2009
Randle, K. (2009). Interested in Young Children. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 11, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/03/02/interested-in-young-children/