Girl love

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

okay so, i’m in this relationship with this girl and i’m a girl, we are really in love but we never get to see each other. i mean we live close but her mom found out i was bi so now she won’t let my girlfriend see me. She is also 16 and i am 14. But we are very crazy about each other. im really confused about how this can work, because not being able to see her is very depressing to me, when we are both crazy for each other.
so please help me

A: It is not at all uncommon for girls your age to develop very intense emotional relationships with each other. What concerns the parents is defining the relationship as sexual when you are so young. It’s generally a mistake for kids your age to take any relationship to that level. It’s more important to explore what it means to have a deep and trusting friendship where you enjoy each other’s company, talk about important things, and have fun doing things together. This is how young people learn who they will eventually want to partner with.

You and your friend would show her parents how mature you are if the two of you could talk to them about voluntarily putting some limits on any sexual aspect of your relationship for now. Let her parents get to know you for the neat person you are. I hope you can talk to your parents about the situation and get some help there as well. If you are willing to go along with some limits, you might be able to work something out.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 Mar 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). Girl love. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/03/02/girl-love/