Do I tell my Dad that Mom is cheating?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

ok i need alot of help i have found out that my mother is cheating on my father i was useing her phone and seen some of the txts she had sent and she sneaks off most weekends to them. i dont no weather to tell my father or not because it would destroy our family they have been maried for 16 years and my father he is a strong man and works hard so we can have a good life and he loves my mother very much. please can u help me i dont no what to do and im afraid if i tell my father he might do something bad so please please help me

A: This is a terrible burden for a 16-year-old guy to have to bear. No. Don’t tell your father what you know. Tell your mother. There may well be more to this story than you know. It’s possible that you are misinterpreting things. If you’re not, and there is something wrong in your parents’ relationship, it’s up to them to fix it, not you. All you can do is let your mom know how painful it is for you to be carrying this secret and how scared you are. Secrets can destroy a family. She needs to get you out of the middle.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Feb 2009

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2009). Do I tell my Dad that Mom is cheating?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/02/07/do-i-tell-my-dad-that-mom-is-cheating/