Am I Really DID?
I was diagnosed as severe DID a year ago. I literally have very little memory of my past growing up and quite a few adulthood memories. I have been known to forget conversations I’ve had, things I’ve done or told someone. In certain situations I completely forget my address or phone number. The reason I question the diagnosis is because currently I do not lose time anymore, yet I am what is suggested as co-conscious because I am sometimes aware of what is happening or being said, and the ages vary from young child to young adult, and some have names, some do not. I have suffered extensive trauma from a baby from what some records show and memories coming up. I have records to show I was adopted at 14 yrs old and have absolutely no memory of it as well. I guess my problem I have with it all is that I just don’t seem to really lose time anymore and I witness what the “others” do and virtually have no control what occurs for most part. Sometimes I can stop it. I keep telling myself its all fake, I’m making it up. I just don’t know anymore who or what I am. Do you have any advice?
A. I cannot know whether DID is an accurate diagnosis but many of the symptoms you described are consistent with the disorder. Some of the symptoms listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) for Mental Health Disorders include: the presence of two or more identities, at least two of these identities recurrently take control of the person’s behavior and having an inability to recall personal information. These symptoms listed in the DSM are similar to what you seem to be experiencing.
It must be frightening to experience severe memory loss and to lose control of your mind on some occasions. It seems as if you have difficultly knowing what is real or fake. If you have not already done so, I would strongly advise you to connect with a therapist. A therapist can help you stay grounded in reality, to know what is real and what is not real. Your concern should not be at this time whether or not you have an “official” DID diagnosis. You should be more concerned with getting help and being sure you can distinguish between what is real and what is not. Please do not hesitate to seek help.
Randle, K. (2008). Am I Really DID?. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 1, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/12/29/am-i-really-did/