Q: i am seeking advice on how to encourage my one year old in a postive way and make him feel secure in our relationship and in himself. He goes to nursery about 19 hours a week the rest of the week we are together. I am writting to see if you have any valuable methods that i can use up to make him feel more secure and independant and encourage him.
My other question is that me and my partner lived together and we were arguing alot! he has now moved out but we are back together i pay for everything and support me and my soon, what could be the reason he is not commiting he does do drugs. he smokes weed in the week and does coke at weekends i do not do that any more. I did do it before i fell pregnant but its not really a part of my life any more! I am much more focused on bringing up my child and going to college and then university! what advice could you give me on this situation? thanks!
A: Congratulations on the birth of your little boy and the birth of your adult self. I wish your boyfriend would join you in responsible parenting. He doesn’t know the sweetness he is missing. The reason he comes around is that you let him and you pay for everything. You support a family. He supports his drug habits. My advice? Ditch this loser until he decides to man up. It’s not good for your son to see the two of you fighting or to have an overgrown spoiled child as a role model for manhood.
As for advice on how to parent: There are lots and lots of excellent parenting books. Go to your library or bookstore and browse until you find one that makes sense to you. You can only follow advice if it feels right. Early childhood is a very, very special — and important — time. Your son is observing and learning every day. If you surround him with love and encouragement, he’ll blossom. There’s nothing like those sticky hugs!
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Nov 2008
