Is it time to let go?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, but I think it might be time to let him go because he likes starting up play fights and then gets really mad when i try to fight back and this morning he really hurt me – like busted lip and a big lump on my head! is this safe or is it time to get over him?? What should I do ?????? Normally he isn’t like this but he does like hurting my feelings by talking about other girls is it time to say goodbye??

A: Sometimes if you have to ask a question, you already have the answer. You two have been together since you were only 16. Now you’re in college and experiencing lots of new people. My guess is that you both would like to move on but neither has the courage to say so. Your boyfriend is creating a situation where eventually you’ll have to leave. It’s nice of him to be willing to be the “bad guy” but things have gone way too far. He is physically and emotionally abusing you. It’s not safe. It’s time to break up. I hope you’ll take at least a little time to be single and to think hard about what you want in a partner.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 Oct 2008

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). Is it time to let go?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 19, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/10/27/is-it-time-to-let-go/