Is not asking for sex okay?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Q: Is it wrong for me not to ask my boyfriend for sex? I have this problem with asking my boyfriend for sex i dont know why. i love him and care for him and i love having intercourse with him but i just cant seem to ask him for sex and i dont know why!

A: Maybe you should relax and trust your own instincts. Part of developing an intimate relationship is working out how to be sexual with each other. For couples who care about each other and who think there is a future in their relationship, this is a sensitive topic that usually requires many conversations and lots of thoughtful exploration — both physical and emotional. No, it isn’t wrong for you not to be asking for sex. It’s not a matter of right and wrong. It’s a matter of figuring out how to talk with each other and how to read each other’s cues. This will probably progress naturally if you are patient with yourselves.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 5 Sep 2008

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). Is not asking for sex okay?. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 17, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/09/05/is-not-asking-for-sex-okay/