Q: I know that I’m depressed it has been this way for a long time I also have issues with my mother who is a very cruel and selfish women who has been a meth addict, for most of my life and still remains one til this day, My father was there but worked 12+ hours about 6-7days a week to support the family, although I hardly saw him most days I would try to wait up for him at night, so I could say goodnight, he was very close to me which made my mother very jealous. I have so much bitterness and hatred inside of me, I feel like if I was raised different, I would have been a happier and more successful adult, I was always put down as a child so my low self-esteem and lack of confidence has followed me into adulthood, It goes so much deeper than I can even begin to imagine to put into a paragraph , or even a page I can write books on my childhood and life of unhappiness, I tend to abuse my fiance who I’ve dated for 9yrs and My Father the only two who truly love me, I take out my fustrations on them constantly, which makes me feel guilty and sad that I cannot control this, I have no motivation, and feel as though I will fail at everything I want to try, I recently went back to college and cannot stand being around people at school, these younger kids remind me of so much time I have waisted, and my lack of confidence, makes me very anti-social, sometimes I just want not to exist, ( not kill myself or anything) but just cease to exist, I cry often at the dissapointment that I know I am, to me and to my father the only family member or person I love more than anything or anyone in this world. I feel that I really need help, my hate consumes me and everyone and everything disgusts me, I can’t stand this feeling anymore , I really need to find a psychologist that does hypnotherapy, how do I find a acredited one who’s near my area I have insurance, anywhere near Disneyland in California would be fine, any advice would be hepful thankyou very much,
A: You can find a qualified hypnotherapist by going to the web site for the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis at http://www.asch.net/certreferrals_results.asp.
However, hypnosis is not magic or a quick fix. It probably will not solve your problems unless you stop blaming your childhood and start taking some responsibility for yourself. Yes, if you had been raised differently, it might be easier. But not everyone gets the life we all deserve. And everyone who had a difficult childhood doesn’t go on to make a wreck of adult life.
It’s your choice now: You can continue to copy your mother’s life by being an addict who is mean to the people who love her or you can honor the father who loves you by getting into recovery and making something of yourself.
A certified hypnotherapist uses hypnosis as a tool, not as a gimmick. You will still be asked to delve deep, to face your feelings and your fears, to forgive your childhood, and to take new risks. Whatever his or her discipline, a therapist can’t do your work for you but can be a guide and support in your process.
You are only 26. You have a whole lifetime ahead. It’s up to you to decide how you want to live it.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Aug 2008
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). Will hypnosis help?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 8, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/08/17/will-hypnosis-help/