Q: I have been seeing this girl off and on for a year or so now, but throughout the past month we haven’t been apart for more than a day. Our relationship has become more serious, and I feel very strongly for her. We are both occasianal users of recreational drugs. But recently she has begun to worry me with her habits. She has gotten into the habit of taking as many pills as possible, and not stopping when shes had enough. She ODed on kolonopins the other weekend, and my worrying escalated to a point where I think I need to say/do something about this. One of our relationships basis was that we were both allowed the freedom to do what we wished, ecspecially in the respects of drugs/alcohol, and that is why I am hesitant to bring it up. I care about this girl alot, hell, I love her. I just dont want to see her get hurt, and dont know how to prevent that.
A: No limits can feel fine — until you hit a limit. It looks like you hit yours. You were fine with recreational drug use but you have discovered you are not fine with someone going so far as to OD. Sadly, there is nothing anyone can do to make someone stop drug abuse. What you can do is make it clear to her that you aren’t willing to share her with a drug habit and then see what she does. Sometimes people do respond when someone shows they care enough to ask them to stop. If she isn’t willing to get in control of herself, I suggest you move on. You’re only 19 and you have not made a lifelong commitment with her. You are not obligated to be in a relationship with someone who has so little respect for her own life.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 23 Jul 2008
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). Girlfriend has a drug issue. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 3, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/07/23/girlfriend-has-a-drug-issue/