Q: From an American guy: I made friends with a young lady almost two years ago, we became close, I disclosed alot of personal and private information to her, she started having sex, my wife caught onto what was going on, Ive tried to end it with her over and over. A few months ago, her mother called my wife at work and spilled the beans, she told my wife I got her daughter pregnant in Nov and she is due this August, she has two children already, I havent seen her since Jan, I met with her 4 weeks ago, she said she’s only gained 5 pounds, I googled what women look like at 7 months pregnant, she didnt look like any of them, Im receiving emails from her, text messages, myspace messages of harassment, I have notified the police and they are handling the harassment part, she is still claiming she’s pregnant, but hasnt shown me anything from her doctor, she posted a ultrasund pic on her myspace page, but i have no idea if it was real or not. I dont have contact with her, I haven’t for months, I had the police return all the gifts she gave me, I don’t want to be tied to her in anyway, what is strange to me, I have a letter from her “mother” which actually came from said girl, saying that she hasn’t gained the weight like she has from her other to pregnancies, what am I trying to do, make her lose the baby!! that just came off weird to me and to the police, Ive called OBGYN’s and they have all said that she should have gained more than 6 pounds by now, and would probably be in the hospital or on bed rest, I know she still working full time, I havn’t been contacted by any doctor needing any info from me, she hasn’t offered any proof, besides telling me once the baby is born she’s taking me to court and sueing me for everything she can, because I have not been apart of this..my wife and I are trying our best to rebuild our marraige, but my wife will not move on until she knows whether or not this girl is pregnant or not, Ive made a huge, grave mistake by doing what I did to my wife and children, I am disgusted with myself and my actions, Im scared of this girl, Im not sure what she’s capable of doing…any advice would be very well accepted.
A: This is a legal question. You need to see a lawyer to talk about what your rights and responsibilities are in this situation. I doubt very much she can sue you for everything you have. However, if you did father her child, you do need to step up and take responsibility. It’s not a child’s fault that you made a mistake. A lawyer can help you let her know what you’ll do if she can establish your paternity. Then let it go. August will come. She’ll either have a baby or not. If she does, a paternity test will settle this big question but open up others. Take it a step at a time.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Jun 2008
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). She says she’s pregnant. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 27, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/06/29/she-says-shes-pregnant/