Should this relationship end?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Q: From a 19 year old in India: i met my bf some 10 months ago. initially i was reluctant to his proposal but finally i did agree..initially 2 months were great but with time, he seems to have become over manipulative, he takes offense in small jokes i say.I suspect he even lies a lot.at times when i ask him why he did not message me he tells me that his cell phone is kind of spoilt, but the very same night i get a message from him, its really hard to believe him.He tends to lie a lot about his past as well as his family. Sometimes he makes some really irritating jokes on me, which I don’t take that seriously, if i happen to crack a small naughty joke on him, he takes it seriously and starts pounding.When i try to explain to him, he acts like an angry kid. every time he makes me feel like I’m the person who is wrong and i have to apologize.I don’t mind apologizing or compromising, but taking the blame all the time is not a nice thing.He always threatens to leave me, as if the relationship means nothing to him.He also cannot take me having asocial-life. since Im still in college I tend to have a lot of friends who are guys. My boyfriend suspects I’m dating them.I’m sick of convincing him and making him feel better. I feel like i ve pampered him enough. Is this the time to call it quits?

A: Yes. He is jealous, manipulative, and controlling. He also is trying to isolate you. This is not likely to change. Stop convincing him and start convincing yourself to do what you already know you need to do.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 Jun 2008

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). Should this relationship end?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 19, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/06/20/should-this-relationship-end/