Q: From Afganistan: I’m strange, I don’t like luxurius or materialist items. if somebody has a good car and people respect or like him, i think its because of car not him so its not REAL. REAL for me means the personality and being a good human. My family or friends say i should wear good suit in weddings or other parties. I say no i am like this if people like me like this its ok if not than they like me coz of my suit or clothes. I think when people get used to these things (money, good house, good car…) than their happiness also depends on these which is not REAL.I am not interested in anything. i know its good to have a car, house and money coz when u r sick money provides you treatment and medicine. you have a car you are convinient. BUT still i am not convinced. i hate the world i think its injust place. people die of hunger and poverty and on the other hand people look for nice house and good car.
it has been 6 months i am inloved when my girl friend sometimes talk about house or car i am afraid that her happiness might also depend on these. she says everybody likes lots of nice things but does not mean they always think about these and should have them.
When i see some one having good car or house i dont like him/her. I am just lost. some times i know its not good to be like this. How can i change and convince my self that what i think is not suitable for a enjoyable life. would really appreciate your practical ideas and help. i really really am in trouble my mind has truned all negative.
A: Good people and bad people can dress well and have nice cars. Good people and bad people can be homeless and poor. The amount of money a person has does not determine that person’s character. You are judging people for what they have instead of for who they are or what they do. People who have some money and position are often those who are most able to make a difference.
You are right. There is terrible injustice in the world. Making a statement by refusing to dress appropriately and respectfully for other people’s special occasions strikes me as pointless. Your opinions would earn more respect from others if you put your energy into doing good in the world to relieve others’ suffering. Instead of judging others, focus on finding ways that you can live by your principles and make the world a better place.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 May 2008
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). He thinks people who focus on money can’t be real. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 7, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/05/20/he-thinks-people-who-focus-on-money-cant-be-real/