From a 13 year old: I have been comunicating on and off with the counsellor at school for a while. I don’t want anyone to find out so I am very worried when we are talking, etc. I don’t know how to ask her politely… is it possible to stop even if nothing has been accomplished? And how can I tell? Thank-you for this site.
A: You might think this is weird but I tell my young clients that coming to see me is like going to the dentist. You go to the dentist if your teeth hurt. You go to the dentist for a checkup. But no matter how much you like your dentist, you don’t hang out with him or her every day or even every week. When you’ve taken care of whatever you needed to take care of, you go on your way. The same should be true of counseling. We’re there when you need us.
Trust your feelings. If you feel like you’ve made progress and feel a little better, it’s fine to stop. But if you don’t think you are accomplishing anything, it might be important to talk about what is getting in the way so you can deal with it. Hopefully you’ve made a good relationship with your counselor so you will feel free to go back to see her another time if you want to. If you didn’t really connect, you can always try again with someone else.
I understand that it’s hard to go to a counselor at school since someone might see you coming out of her office and gossip. But I hope you won’t let that possibility stop you from doing something that might be important for you. (That’s easy for me to say, I know. I’m not the one who has to deal with meanspirited people in school.) If you think a counselor might help you but seeing someone at school feels too chancy, ask your current counselor to help you find someone in town.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Apr 2008
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). How do I end counseling? Should I?. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 14, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/04/07/how-do-i-end-counseling-should-i/
