Boyfriend’s son ignores me.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

My almost stepson is 17 years old. I date his father for 6 years and he ignores me the entire time. He doesn´t talk to me and if I talk to him, he only answers yes or no. I always treated him good, never did anything to deserve this. I feel like his father never did much about it. When I bring this subject up, he gets angry and protective of his son. I always end up being the bad person, who criticizes his son. He says no matter how his son treats me I need to love him, respect him and make him feel welcomed. But his son doesn´t have to do anything. The only thing I want is for us to be friends and get along well. We were talking about marriage with my boyfriend, but I can´t imagine living in this stress forever. Please help!

A: This boy may be feeling too loyal to his mother to let you be his friend. But that doesn’t give him permission to be rude. He’s 17, not 2. You deserve to be treated with at least as much courtesy as he would accord any of his father’s friends.

I don’t know what’s going on with your boyfriend that he permits this behavior. Perhaps he is afraid that if he asserts any limits, his son will turn him off too. If that’s the case, I do sympathize. Nonetheless, it’s way past time for him to have a man to man talk with his son about treating people decently. You may not be able to get more from him than civility but you certainly do deserve that.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Apr 2008

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). Boyfriend’s son ignores me.. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/04/07/boyfriends-son-ignores-me/