How Can I Stop Abuse From Father?

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. I’m 16 and my dad beats me and has been since I was little: I’m 16 and my dad is really violent. He hurts me alot and for no reason. He is so mean and yells and scares me so bad. I’ve taken martial arts for years to learn how to defend myself, but he’s taken it twice as long as I have and I can do nothing, because he easily over powers me I’m only 5’1″ and he’s 6’5″, and it’s so much worse when I try.

He used to just use his hands to push, punch, or slap me, but he’s gotten worse and hit my head with a tire iron and hit my chest with a brick. I can’t stand being hurt and used like this, but I can’t do anything for the whole summer until I turn 17 when I can legally move out and be on my own, because when I tried to leave a few months ago, the police brought me back and made me stay since I wasn’t 17 yet. My dad is a police officer, so naturally, the department won’t help me or do anything to stop him from abusing me. He’s never hit my older sister, even though she is a pathological liar and it makes him furious.

My dad, mom, and my sister all have manic depression and supposedly take medication for it, but they don’t act like it. (my mom has terminal emphazemia and a kidney disorder she’s dying from and can’t work or live on her own, which is why she stays with my dad). I don’t have it, I’m fine except for insomnia and being so scared all the time. I’ve done everything I could think of to get me out of here, and I’m even taking online classes in high school and I’ve done summer school to graduate a whole year early to get to college quicker. I don’t know what to do anymore. Please help me in any way.

A. I am sorry for your terrible circumstances. I have a few suggestions. One is that you call the child protective services (CPS) department within your state and report that your father beats you. They will come to the house and investigate your claim. If they find evidence that he has hurt you they can help find you a place to live, perhaps with a relative, until you are 18 or you are able to attend college.

You can also call CPS anonymously for advice on what to do in your situation. They may have alternative ideas about how to handle this situation.

Another idea is to talk this matter over with a trusted teacher at school, the school guidance counselor, or the school nurse. These individuals can call CPS for you. They may also know of other programs or places that you can live while you finish high school.

You can also go the police station in another county, or any other station that your father does not work at and report your father’s abuse. This way, another team of police officers would be investigating the case, many who likely would not know your father.

Again, I am very sorry about your situation. It is encouraging to hear that you are almost out of your house and very soon you will be able to escape the abuse. But do what you can now to remove yourself from the situation. I hope that one of these suggestions will help you get out of this situation. Please write again if you have any more questions.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 23 Mar 2008

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2008). How Can I Stop Abuse From Father?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/03/23/how-can-i-stop-abuse-from-father/