My wife and I can’t have sex.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Me and my wife have been married for almost 2 years now. We are comfortable with each other. Talk about sex. Enjoy oral sex too. However, when it comes to sexual intercourse what happens is that the moment we try to have intercourse I am unable to enter her. We are not sure about the reason. It may be:
1. Because of the size of my penis or
2. Vaginal dryness in my wife or
3. my wife has a great amount of pain when I try to enter her.
Please advise. Would use of a lubricant help us have a normal sexual relation. If yes, what kind of lubricants would you suggest and their names.
Thank you,

A: I’m sure this is disappointing and frustrating for you both. You and your wife need to see her doctor and to be honest about her symptoms. What you are reporting is consistent with the symptoms of vaginismus, an involuntary tightening of the vagina that makes sexual intercourse painful and difficult. Fortunately, it is highly treatable without drugs or surgery. Once treated, the success rate is reported to be from 90 to 100% recovery. For more information about symptoms and treatment options, go to websites about the condition.

I wish you both well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 1 Mar 2008

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). My wife and I can’t have sex.. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/03/01/my-wife-and-i-cant-have-sex/