Feeling guilty about an affair.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I have been married for 10 years. I have been having an affair for the past 1 year.I feel very guilty with myself. I constantly wake up during the night with the same guilt. I even have dreams about it. The man I am seeing is much older than me he is 50 years old. I dont know why I feel so much for them. My husband is very good towards me and trusts me alot. I have a 3 year old daughter as well.

A: Sometimes feeling guilty is the price people are willing to pay in order to give themselves permission to do something they know is wrong. I don’t know what you are getting out of this affair. Is doing the forbidden exciting for you? Is the older man acting like a father you never had? Whatever it is must be very powerful because you stand to lose a lot if you are discovered. You are risking your marriage to a man who is good to you. You may even be risking your relationship with your little girl. The affair doesn’t look worth the consequences to me but I’m not the one having it. I just hope you are prepared for what is going to happen the day that everything blows up. Feeling guilty isn’t going to be enough to balance your betrayal of the people who love you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Jan 2008

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2008). Feeling guilty about an affair.. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/01/26/feeling-guilty-about-an-affair/