Is This an Abnormal Sexual Response?

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years. I lost interest in our sex life four years ago and hated the thought of “having” to do it. Recently I found out that he was cheating on me — of course he denied it but all of a sudden I was so sexually aroused of the idea of him touching someone else that I had to have sex with him and I did for two days! the whole weekend was spent in bed. Everytime I think of what he did, it powers me sexually almost to the point of orgasim just thinking about it, What is wrong with me?

A. There is nothing wrong with you. The idea of being turned on by the thought of your significant other having sex with another person is a fairly common sexual fantasy. Your fantasy is actually more common among males than females. There are many people, males in particular who not only fantasize about the idea of their mate with another lover but they actually try to make it happen so they can watch. This practice is called cuckolding. Cuckolding has been written about and practiced between couples for many centuries. No one knows why certain people develop certain fantasies but please know yours are completely normal. Author Elise Sutton writes about this topic, among others, if you are interested in learning more.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 1 Jan 2008

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2008). Is This an Abnormal Sexual Response?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/01/01/is-this-an-abnormal-sexual-response/