She’s in love with Mr. Wrong.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Right off the bat, this is going to sound bad. I feel in love with someone I work with, he has a girlfriend and a one year old.I know, I sound selfish, he sounds self.. I seriously don’t know what to do. Ill explain it real short. We met at work, and we hit it off real fast. I asked him online if he liked me more than just friends, and he said.. and thats where it started. He told me i was the one, and that we were suppose to meet. But, he feels bad that I have to wait for him because of the whole baby thing and girlfriend.I know.. i should of stopped right there and ended the whole thing. But I started to feel strong, real feelings. We hung out once, at his house. We kissed. It felt really awkard at his house..knowing that his girlfriend lived there. Inside I felt real bad. I knew I was falling in love with him.. then one night, online.. I told him I was feeling bad for what we were doing.. bad mistake.. because he’s been acting different ever since.. then two nights ago.. I asked him if he changed his mind about me. And he said no of course not. and then we started talking about stuff… and I asked him to tell me what he thought about me, and he told me that he was going crazy thinking about me because we cant really be with each other.. and that he “really really really” likes me… im just soo confused. I fell in love. And i know, ill probably get hurt.. but I really don’t want to lose him. and I told him that, and he said that I won’t. So, in the end.. i dont know what to do. please help.

A: You can’t lose what you don’t have. If this guy is unhappy with his relationship, he needs to deal with that honestly and decently. He has responsibilities to the mother of his child and to his little one. Playing around with you may be an effective distraction but it isn’t going to solve his problems and it is only going to hurt you. Think about this: Is a guy who will betray his girlfriend (and in her own house!) and shirk his responsibilities as a father really someone you want to be with? Please. Get a grip. However attractive he is, however exciting it may be to be sneaking around, you are headed for disaster if you persist in pursuing this man. Look around instead for someone who has some integrity and who is truly available.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 13 Dec 2007

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). She’s in love with Mr. Wrong.. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/12/13/shes-in-love-with-mr-wrong/