I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 6 months. There has been so much lying and sneaking from the first week we started dating. He has had alot of sexual partners and the girls that he had sex with kept texting him nasty things while we were going out. My boyfriend denies that he texts them back. There is this girl from Texas that wants to be with him and he keeps texting her as a “friend” and thats not her intentions. He says she hasnt texted her but on my phone bill it shows different. He apologized about it and he insisted Im not allowed to go through his phone anymore because I should put it in the past and move on. I don’t know anyone to talk to about this problem. Im not sure if I can ever feel the same about him. He always goes through my phone and always questions me about the guys that are my friends. I have never lied to him but my impulses always want to go through his phone and its because he hurt me in the past. He promises he will tell me if a girl gets out of line and wants to be more than friends but i don’t trust him. How can I regain his trust without going through everything of his? Please help
A: Once trust is broken it’s very, very hard to regain. Frankly, I wish you would stop trying. This guy is bad news. He goes through your phone and questions you about your male friends but doesn’t want you to do the same in return. He sounds controlling and dishonest. Don’t waste another minute on him. Let go of this relationship and look for someone who treats you with the respect you deserve.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Dec 2007
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). How can I regain trust in my boyfriend.. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 7, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/12/08/how-can-i-regain-trust-in-my-boyfriend/