ME AND MY HUSBAND HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS, RECENTLY WHILE SNOOPING I FOUND SOME PICTURES OF HIM HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. I WAS TOTALLY DEVESTATED.HOWEVER WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO WORK IT OUT, BUT I FIND MYSELF CONTINUALLY ASKING WHY DID HE CHEAT THE ANSWERS HE GIVES ME ARE IT JUST HAPPENED. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW CAN I GET OVER THIS FEELING OR WILL I EVER GET OVER IT.
A: My guess is that your marriage was in trouble even before you found out about your husband’s affair. You were snooping because you didn’t trust him. That lack of trust and your husband’s denial of the significance of his betrayal undermine your respect, love, and commitment to each other. In a way, finding the pictures may save your marriage. You surfaced the fact that there is something fundamentally wrong that desperately needs attention.
Sadly, you are not alone in this situation. So many people have written with a similar question that I wrote a lengthy article on infidelity. You might find it helpful. Go to Those Cheating Hearts.
I wish you both well as you tackle the difficult task of rebuilding your relationship.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 14 Nov 2007
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). How can I get over husband’s betrayal?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 10, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/11/14/how-can-i-get-over-husbands-betrayal/