From a college student: I have an issue with trust. I trust my boyfriend with secrets or things like that but i do not trust him with girls. I get very mad when he talks to other girls or looks at other girls. I automatically assume he is cheating on me. I get mad when he wastes money on thing he doesnt need. He tells me all the time how much he cares about me. I guess i just do not believe him. I care about him so much. I want to be with him. I just have a short temper. I dont understand what is going on. Please help me clarify this.
A: My guess is that the closer you find yourself getting to this man, the more scared you become. In order to quiet your own anxiety, you are trying to control him. Needless to say, it’s a poor solution that will probably backfire on you. Most people can’t take feeling controlled and distrusted, especially when they haven’t done anything to deserve it. Remind yourself that it doesn’t matter that your boyfriend relates to other girls. You’re the one he goes home with. If that doesn’t help, you might benefit from talking with a counselor to see if you can identify the cause of your anxiety and come up with new and better ways to manage your feelings.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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